These Feelings
by ILongToBeLostInYou
Summary: A short series of poems dealing with feelings - 2 poems from the gazebo scene, and 2 from the wedding.
1. Chapter 1

**These Feelings**

Usual disclaimer: The Sound of Music isn't mine, but I truly wish it were. Perhaps an early birthday gift is in order?

* * *

"I thought I just might find you here"

My heart stopped

I look up and see him standing there

Waiting for my response

My heart resumes beating

Slowing returning to normal

I mutter something

I'm not myself

I'm lost

_These feelings inside me_

He's making me lose my mind

Insanity

He's asked me why I've left

I answer him

I've only been half honest

Yes, I do have to fulfill my obligation

But I left for a reason too

I love you

And it's killing me

Yes, I did miss the children

"Only the children?"

"No! Yes!"

_Damn_

I curse at myself inwardly

"I'm sure the baroness will make things _fine _for you"

The baroness

I almost get sick from her name

If it weren't for her

I wouldn't know

I wouldn't know that what I'm feeling...

_These feelings_

What I'm feeling is love

Love

"Maria..."

My name

He's said my name

"There isn't going to be any baroness."

I don't understand

No baroness?

"We've called off our engagement, you see..."

"Oh, I'm sorry"

_No, I'm not..._

"You are?"

"Yes... you did?"

He looks me in the eyes

I almost cry

He's looking me in the eyes

Not as a governess

Not as a postulant

Not as a woman who owned only a suitcase and a dress

But as an equal

"Yes... you see, you can't marry someone..."

_Yes..._

"When you're in love with someone else..."

_With me?_

_Please, please be in love with me_

"Can you?"

_Oh, Captain, all these feelings_

He leans in to kiss me

I'm so scared

My first kiss

I'm so glad it's with you

_All these feelings inside me_

_I must let them go_

He pulls away, and I'm still looking in his eyes

"I love you"

I'd never heard those words

Never

And certainly never like that

I want to say them

I need to say them

"And I love you"

I whisper into his ear

Before he leans in to kiss me

Once more, again, again!

_These feelings..._

_Are you feeling them too?_

_I think you are..._

Do you truly know when I first started loving you?

_I loved you when I first felt these feelings_

_These feelings_

_I think they're love..._


	2. Chapter 2

Since the first poem is from Maria's POV, I thought it would be nice to hear from the Captain.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my beautiful laptop, and you couldn't pry it away from me if you tried.

I see her heart breaking in front of me

It kills me knowing that I'm causing her pain

I love her

I love her desperately

And I'm so foolish

I knew my proposal to the baroness was a lie

I was so hurt when Maria ran away

I had to...

I don't know what I was thinking

Elsa was my safety net

But now I know that I didn't need one

I want to dive freely

Into my love

No safety net needed

She's sitting there

Looking up at me

Her eyes are screaming at me

I can tell she wants to run

To run far away and never see my face

Or to hear me talk to her

But I have to tell her

And if she wants to run...

This time I'll run after her

I've never known love as pure as ours

And she doesn't even know it yet

Oh, Maria... I hope I'm not mistaken

Please, say you love me.

I dive

And you're silent

Oh no

I've dove too far

Spiraling quickly towards the ground

Further down... rolling

Was it a mistake to say I love you?

Never

Saying I love you to you could never be a mistake

You must know how I feel

Oh, how I hope you feel the same way

Isn't that why you ran?

And you kiss me

Like I've never been kissed before

I love you

I repeat it over and over into your ear

If I said it a thousand times that night...

I want you to know, I wanted to say it a thousand more

And it still would not describe how deep my love is

For you

And only you

Yes, my darling...

Those feelings

Those feelings deep inside you

They're not a sin to feel

Those feelings

So pure, so innocent

Those feelings

I know they're love

* * *

A/N: I love writing poetry - it's like a release of everything you've built up inside you. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Maybe I'll be inspired to write more poetry.

Until next story (or poem)

-Jerra


	3. Chapter 3

Another poem, set while Maria is walking down the aisle in her wedding that shows some of her 'inner thoughts'.

* * *

Nerves

He must have nerves of steel

All he has to do is stand there

And look marvellously handsome

And I...

I have to walk down this huge aisle

With hundreds of people watching me

Wearing a dress too beautiful for me

Too beautiful

For the little girl who was beaten

For the young lady who became a postulant

For the young woman who became a governess for seven children

But am I still that young woman?

I think not

I'm now the woman

Who on this day

Marries Captain von Trapp

The father of seven children who I love

The captain, decorated by the emporer

The man I love

Love

It's so strange, that word

I've never felt so loved

He loves me

I know he does

He's waiting for me down there

To become his wife

And how desperately I just want to run to him

To marry him

To get this day over with

To get to tonight

To our hotel in Paris  
Where he'll make sweet, passionate love to me

I must stop thinking these thoughts!

But he's put them in my head

How lovely it will be

When we become one

Oh my...

I don't think I sound very much like a postulant anymore

Wait for me, my love

I'm coming

I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you

And we'll be happy for the rest of our lives

We'll have children together

Beautiful children

To help us celebrate our love together

I know I'm getting ahead of myself

But I don't know how our life together could become more perfect

You and I

Our arms around each other

And our children by our side.

* * *

"Our arms around each other / And our children by our side" come from the song "An Ordinary Couple" from the Broadway play version of The Sound of Music.

I like to write these "poems", it's just an easy way to express what I think are the thoughts of the characters (or what I want them to be) when I don't have time or energy to write a full story.

I hope you like them...


	4. Chapter 4

This is from the Captain's point of view as Maria walks up the aisle to him.

* * *

She looks so beautiful

I'm almost crying right now

I have to control myself

I've done this before

But I've definitely never felt this way

I've never been so in love

I want to run to her

So we can start our life together

Just a second sooner

I can tell she's nervous

All these people watching her

People she doesn't know

People that are judging her

Just because she's my governess

I hope she knows...

That she's so much more than that to me

She's my life

I don't think I could live without her

When she ran to the abbey

I almost died inside

My pain, I tried to hide it

She came back and I could see she was hurting too

I never ever want to hurt her again

How can I love someone so much?

I can feel my love for her

Pooling up deep inside my heart

Almost making my heart explode

I want nothing but the best for her

And silently I hope that I'm good enough for someone so beautiful

Inside and out

I feel...

I can't explain it

I see her with my children

And I can't imagine not having more with her

She'll be a beautiful mother

She'll be a beautiful anything

I'm deeply in love with her

She steps up next to me

And I take her hand in mine

I'm getting married today

And tonight

Tonight will be perfect

* * *

This is probably the last in my poetry entries, but never say never, right?

I've loved writing these.

-Jer


End file.
